שלחו לי את זה ואין לי מושג מה לענות. עזרה?

Okay guys. This community seems pretty nice, so I'm going to tell you all about my, uh, condition, in confidence. I have a thing where if I press my belly button my cock and balls drop to the floor. They basically turn into human spaghetti. Everyone in gym laughs at me because my cock and balls slam down so hard it pulls down my pants with it. All my friends have left me now and the only dates I can get are with 40 year old gay men and weird women who are into BDSM. Is there something I can do to fix this?